As any couple planning a wedding knows, it’s tradition for the soon-to-be-newlyweds not to see each other on their wedding day until they walk down the aisle. But for a lot of couples, it doesn’t feel quite right not to be able to spend the morning together, or to wait for the ceremony and share that meaningful moment with all of their guests.

That’s where the first look comes in! It’s becoming a new counter tradition, so you might be wondering, “should we do a first look?”

This guide will help you answer that question, give you some first look ideas, and some alternative options if you decide that a first look isn’t right for you!

woman stands behind man with her hand on his shoulder as a first look idea

What is a First Look?

First, let’s define first looks! A first look is the moment a couple sees each other in their wedding attire for the first time on the big day. Some couples avoid seeing each other at all on the morning of their wedding, while others decide to see each other a few times, splitting up to get glammed up in their dresses, suits, and hair and makeup!

When it’s time for the big moment, I will help you coordinate how to make this moment happen. As a Seattle wedding photographer, I have helped coordinate dozens & dozens of these moments :) In a nutshell: one of you will go first, and you’ll be put in a spot where your back is turned and you’re facing away. You’ll wait there, with strict instructions not to turn around!

The photographer will then let the second partner know it’s time - they’ll take you to the spot, and position you behind your partner. You’ll walk up behind them, tap them on the shoulder, and then they can turn around and see you!

It’s always a really sweet moment, and one you’ll remember forever.

bride meets groom in her wedding gown captured by Seattle Wedding Photographer

Should We Do a First Look?

Now, here are some reasons why couples choose this option, and some perks of seeing each other before the ceremony. If any of these resonate with you, the answer to “should we do a first look?” might be a yes!

FIRST LOOKS LET YOU BE EMOTIONAL

For some couples, the thought of being in front of all their guests on their wedding day is a little stressful. Seeing each other for the first time is such an intimate moment, and if you feel a little uncomfortable at the thought of sharing it with everybody, a first look is a great solution! It can feel like a lot of pressure to react “correctly” to seeing your partner, and sharing that moment with just the two of you makes it a lot more authentic, and can give you more freedom to express those big feelings.

bride spins in her dress while groom smiles broadly captured by Camille Docena

FIRST LOOKS EASE THE STRESS

Your wedding is going to be the most incredible day - but after all that planning, and all that anticipation, it’s inevitable that you probably feel a little stressed about it, or even a little anxious. Having a quiet moment like this and seeing your partner is known to make couples feel so much more relaxed - so many people say their butterflies melted away!

Getting that time together before the ceremony reminds you why you’re here, and what this day is truly about - getting married!

YOU CAN SPEND TIME TOGETHER

Wedding days often go by quickly, and couples find that they hardly get to spend time together. Between making sure everything’s going smoothly, saying hello to everyone, and running from place to place, it can be difficult to find time to really hang out with your partner! When you opt for a first look, you’ll have that time together, and couples often schedule about 30 minutes between this and the ceremony to be together as they hide from arriving guests.

couple hold each other in a tight embrace as a first look idea

YOU CAN TAKE SOME PHOTOS

Choosing this option also has the advantage of getting some couple’s photos done before the ceremony! This can save you some time afterwards, which you can use to spend time with your guests. If you’ve already seen each other, you can take photos with the entire wedding party together, and get some photos of the two of you.

Photos from this time of the day often end up being some of my favorites - the moment is so sweet, and without the pressure of other people being around, it’s emotional, authentic, and real!

man and woman share an intimate moment in the snow captured by seattle wedding photographer

First Look Ideas

If you decide to have these moments for your wedding day, here are some ideas to personalize it and make it your own! And if you decide that you want to keep the tradition of not seeing each other until the ceremony, there are also some alternative ideas.

bride and groom stand on opposite sides of a door and read each other a letter captured by Camille Docena

PREPARE A GIFT OR LETTER

During the first look, some couples decide to give their partner a surprise gift, or the two of you can prepare a letter to read. A letter can also be a great way to express your feelings if saying your vows in front of an audience gives you flashbacks to giving a presentation in high school. Not everyone does well with public speaking and that’s okay! Using this moment to get vulnerable and share how you feel with your partner is an amazing addition.

woman wipes away tears as she reads something to man as a first look idea

But, this one also works as an alternative idea! You can have someone deliver your gift or letter to your partner, and the two of you can connect before the ceremony, without seeing each other.

DO A FIRST LOOK WITH SOMEONE ELSE!

These private moments don’t have to be with just your partner! Some other fun ideas that you can do in addition to, or instead of, the one with your partner is to have a first look with a parent or grandparent, with your wedding party, or even with your dog.

DO A FIRST TOUCH

An alternative idea is to do a first touch instead! Couples do this by standing on opposite sides of an open door, or on adjacent corners of a building - this way they can hold hands and talk to each other, but they can’t see one another. This is a really intimate, meaningful moment that allows you to connect and be together in a unique way

bride and groom hold hands around a door captured by seattle wedding photographer

Incorporating Your First Look Ideas

My job as your Seattle wedding photographer is to make sure you have a day that perfectly reflects you - so whether you’ve decided that a first look is right for you, or you’re still on the fence, I’ll help you figure out how to incorporate your ideas in a way that’s uniquely you. :)

Let's chat if you’re ready to start planning!